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- Auntie Bea's Clinic for the Unseen: Patient Ledger Excerpts
- sad poem :( (Title probably: Seventy-seven words spoken
- A Ball Did This, Not Me!!
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Found this weird encrypted spreadsheet on a drive, it's named LObY_inTREsT_CAlC_.1
Property of: Beatrix. "Bemuse".2 Bellamy.3
Access allowed to: Bandy (Receptionist), Leo (the Junior Assistant, requested access for patient 4 tab was DENIED)
Patient 1
The boss's Kitchen Appliance, that grew wings because of a sneeze... it was all over the neighborhood somehow nobody noticed, then Leo finally caught it in a net after 3 hours of it on a neighbor's roof, she was "helping" I guess, giving Leo words of encouragement. Currently it's trapped in the pantry under a heavy blanket. The boss said she would turn it back into a normal blender later but it has been 5 days now… (Note to self: bug the boss to fix it ASAP. The wings flapping in the dark are making it impossible to take a nap in there.)
I can still hear its wings flapping in my mind…the nightmares I get on how something like that even exists… augh… ANYWAYS! the cost is $0, it's not like I can send a bill to the person who owns the clinic.
Patient 2
Andy4 is
dealing with some allergies and this weird craving for garlic that turned out to be a side effect from that Day Dust thingamajig. A Night Shine elixir should be more than enough for someone his size and it's 4 silver coins in total, that to me is not too bad of a payment.
Update note: the guy is already three weeks behind on his bill already…that’s it! If I see him again, he has 2 choices: either he has to cough up the actual silver coins5 or bring something equivalent or more to the silver coins like maybe bringing me some of those fresh bagels from the dumpster that’s equivalent in my eyes.6
Patient 3
I’m not a psychologist or anything but a quick internet search showed me that they have the symptoms of an identity crisis, cause one minute they are a bad omen and the next they are some kid named “Sarah” the next. The boss just sent them into group therapy with her and gave them therapeutic snacks like a cup of organ liquid fertilizer….7
5 "secrets" (REJECTED BY BANK)8
1 swarm divide 400 roots = BILLING ERROR
Back then she used to accept these all the time but times have changed and Leo found out about it all and he lost his mind over the "accounting nightmare."WOO-HOO! a step forward in the right direction for the clinic and god… a huge step back…Why did she even decide that!? She was talking about sum about for the troubles I apparently caused them she just… didn't charge them as compensation for the supposed “trauma” of it all. Translating: they got off scott-free and now i have to rewrite our entire rulebook so this nonsense never happens again.
If these weeds try something like this again they’re getting the weed killer kicked out and banned.
Patient 4
A guy with busted wings from a cell tower came in today and with it came his bad attitude tagging along, he kept tryna bite anyone's hands off that got too close.9
The boss just shoved a bunch of tranquility mints down his throat and put him on strict bed rest for two weeks before going elsewhere. The mints are 4 silvers and the bed rest is free since he is resting at his own place in some makeshift den. Update: he came back man I don't like this guy because the first thing he tried to do was to chew on the clipboard I gave him. I did threatened to tack a fake “biting fee” to his final bill, he has been reaal quiet after that, suspiciously too quiet…
ANND that quietness didn't last long because he immediately strutted back to the clinic to argue with me about, "a slider from the gas station should count as half a silver coin you oversized rat!" MY GOD! I was fumming to claw his feathered face out just waited for anything to go wrong between me and him the escalation and I outta…if she didn't take over….usually she keeps her eyes shut because to her, "looking at people is gross and exhausting "10 but this time her eyes opened to give hima quick glare before shutting again and wow that did the trick on him, it finally made him shut up.
Love her though, she really knows how to freeze a room without a word being spoken. Literally when she dropped that glare on Jackie, every single hair on my tail to puff up like those things humans hair does when they sense danger coming and I felt something for sure that being my survival instincts telling me to climb to the nearest filing cabinet.
Later on the day, I caught Jackie drawing a lil' symbol of a coiled snake thing that was wrapped around a hand on his napkin. I was going to go confront him about that until Aunt Bea appeared out of nowhere—mind you I didn't even hear her footsteps or scent and she immediately snatched it away, the napkin went up in flames on her palms. Then she said to him with that smile—the type that doesn't reach one's eyes or closed eyes in her case, "we don't tolerate that kind of bad luck in this clinic, Mister." Poor dude looked terrified, I too was like where did she come out from? I was stuck in thought for a few minutes, until she hit her head on the doorframe when walking out. Yeah, "sensing auras" my cheeks. Other than those events he has been on his best behavior surprisingly.
Original:
Where the forsaken stood in their ever-reaching line,
with promise of peace to their endeavors, they sung with others, as time tolled.
Theories of, "what happens after?" never loomed on my past.
As the other side lasted for us; I stayed, to reunite with whom I lost, for my suture to heal.
Now that I'm here, she gets never-nearer, my sweet little girl, so please oh dear One, let it be merciful to me, her, us all.
Revised a bit:
Where the forsaken stood
in their ever-reaching line,
promised peace for their endeavors;
they sung with others,
as time tolled.
If such a thing truly existed,
I hoped its supposed vastness
would have had…her.
The one.
whom I lost.
So my sutures can heal.
And when it came
as it does for every-all,
here I am,
and she is never-nearer.
So please oh dear One,
if you are listening,
let it be merciful to her
and to me,
to us all.
I kicked a ball, it rolled
down the hall,
Past the banquet, and
out the pavilion.
My ragdoll's stroll haven't been
disrupted by the unstoppable force,
Her senses swell up, her tail twills,
she stands still in its wake.
Its momentum became more ballsy, as if
Sensing the foretell about
to befall all,
it dwells?
Then suddenly It upswells, implodes, squalls!
It pealed like a thousand air molecules brim-full until cram-full and ready to burst!
The shockwave sent her into an apall, and she propelled away.
Its airfalls free-falling like the buzzkills of dimming fireballs.
My mom Jill went ill from the freezing chills of the crowd's looking eyeballs.
I’m such a screwball, a goofball,
But most of all, I’m definitely behind the eight ball!